A Day of Darkness

My father passed away last July. We lost him very early on a Saturday morning so I had that whole day to live with the reality that he was gone and my life was changed forever. Yet I remember waking up the next morning dazed and disoriented, the truth hanging so heavy over me yet still feeling that it was just a dream because the idea of my father really being dead was just not something my mind could fully grasp.

Today, I can't help but wonder if that's how the disciples and Jesus other followers felt that Saturday morning after the crucifixion. The Bible doesn't really tell us much about that day but we know they had been scattered the night before so I imagine that they all slowly made their way back together, back to the last place they had been with their friend and teacher, we know Mary Magdalene found them together- "their eyes wet with grief" (Mark 16). And we know that the women were taking care of the practicalities, preparing the spices for his body.

But I wonder most about Peter. He had been told that he would be the rock upon whom Jesus would build His church, yet He was also told he would deny his Saviour three times-and though Peter vehemently denied this was possible he of course did just that-and during the worst moments of Jesus' life to boot. So how must he have been feeling that next day? Crushing grief along with a heart breaking guilt. Do you think he talked about it with the others or merely sat in a corner alone. Feeling unworthy to even be among them at that point?

I know that's how my sin can make me feel. The last few months I have been on a path seeking God in a way I never have before and it has drawn me deeper and deeper with Him. I have experienced some of the most beautiful and fulfilling moments in my entire Christian walk and seen some amazing changes within myself as a result. Yet the past few days have found me very irritable and grumpy, very short on patience which has led me to be snippy with my husband (who is not a Christian) mean to my 2 1/2 year old son, and just simply not someone anyone would want to be around at times.

Isn't that a kind of denial of my Saviour? When I allow my flesh that much control so that I make others miserable and wreck any kind of witness I might be for my husband? So I too am struggling with some guilt today over my behavior. But the beauty of this relationship with my Jesus is that I don't have to. He died to cover my sin once and for all. No sacrifice is ever again needed to cover my iniquities. My responsibility in this is to recognize my sin, own it through confession, and then trust in God's word that His mercies ARE new every morning and today I get another chance to live a life that honors my heavenly Father.

And you can bank on this because the Bible declares it over and over: "He was wounded and bruised for our sins, He was beaten that we night have peace; He was lashed and WE were HEALED!! Isaiah 53: 5

So what about poor Peter all alone there in his pain and failure. Jesus knew how he would feel and the next morning when Mary Magdalene encountered the angel that told her Jesus had risen he said to her "Now go and give this message to the disciples including Peter: Jesus is going ahead to Galilee. You WILL see Him there, just as He told you before He died!" Jesus wanted to be sure Peter knew nothing had changed, that he was still beloved by his friend and saviour and in His ultimate mercy; Jesus made sure Peter was called out by name to prove it to him! (Mark 16:7-8)

So what is it you are wrestling with today, what guilt and sin is dragging you down and convincing you that you are not worthy of our Saviour's love? Friend let me assure that Jesus is asking His followers to proclaim this message to the world : "I have gone ahead to my Father's house but you WILL see me there! Tell everyone, including (insert YOUR name here)!"

His death was for ALL people EVERYWHERE and his blood covers every sin. Come to Him this weekend, let Him assure you that He is Risen, that you are forgiven!